Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
