if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Randomize
