I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
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sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
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My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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