We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
