Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
try to milk me bitch
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