So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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