Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize