so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Randomize
