I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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