I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
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