My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
My hand turned me down
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Randomize
