My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
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