i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
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IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
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I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
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