I just made out with a guy for $7.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
