Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Randomize
