Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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