Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Randomize
