Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
