I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
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