Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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