I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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