the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
What drink are we having for lunch?
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
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