don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
