The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
