fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
