He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize