do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
