Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize