i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
