She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
