So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
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hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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