I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
