so that wasnt chicken after all
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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