this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
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