Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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