I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
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