tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
