Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
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