xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize
