Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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