Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
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I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
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Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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