Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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