So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
