Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
