dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
as a side note pls kill me
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
