Betty ford says i'm here all night
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
