John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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