and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.