Texts From Last Night

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  (301): View more from Maryland

  Fuck appropriateness.

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  (301): Fuck appropriateness. http://tfl.nu/83xq
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  (716): View more from New York

  i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...

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  (716): i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control... http://tfl.nu/d926
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...

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  (540): I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant... http://tfl.nu/4jrj
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  (623): View more from Arizona

  she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.

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  (623): she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five. http://tfl.nu/kcej
  Replies (22) Good night (4440) Bad night (1039) Order T-Shirt
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.

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  (803): so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal. http://tfl.nu/ov2w
  Replies (61) Good night (825) Bad night (6403) Order T-Shirt
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  (339): View more from Massachusetts

  I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette

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  (339): I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette http://tfl.nu/67ko
  Replies (22) Good night (5897) Bad night (1429) Order T-Shirt
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.

  (1-519): View more from Ontario

  I'm in awe of how selfish that is.

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  (519): Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking. (1-519): I'm in awe of how selfish that is. http://tfl.nu/dlh3
  Replies (10) Good night (3485) Bad night (1418) Order T-Shirt
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.

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  (704): they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming. http://tfl.nu/eg1m
  Replies (6) Good night (3949) Bad night (803) Order T-Shirt
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked

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  (616): I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked http://tfl.nu/2vrw
  Replies (5) Good night (3461) Bad night (658) Order T-Shirt
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  (760): View more from California

  She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.

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  (760): She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle. http://tfl.nu/ihsx
  Replies (4) Good night (2583) Bad night (692) Order T-Shirt
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  (856): View more from New Jersey

  my self respect just called, its having a good time without me

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  (856): my self respect just called, its having a good time without me http://tfl.nu/iprn
  Replies (9) Good night (2977) Bad night (953) Order T-Shirt
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  (206): View more from Washington

  Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.

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  (206): Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack. http://tfl.nu/15rr
  Replies (6) Good night (1492) Bad night (341) Order T-Shirt
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life

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  (647): I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life http://tfl.nu/d1p7
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  (580): View more from Oklahoma

  the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party

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  (580): the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party http://tfl.nu/1oc7
  Replies (3) Good night (685) Bad night (280) Order T-Shirt
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.

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  (541): I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis. http://tfl.nu/x9yx
  Replies (4) Good night (740) Bad night (458) Order T-Shirt

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