Whod you bang
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
