Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize