If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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