Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
