I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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