I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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