Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.