I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
