yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
